I grew up with my identical twin, who was an incredibly loving brother. Now, one thing about being a twin is, it makes you an expert at spotting favoritism. If his cookie was even slightly bigger than my cookie, I had questions. And clearly, I wasn’t starving

我和我的双胞胎哥哥一起长大，他是个富有爱心的好兄弟。要知道，作为双胞胎，你很快 就在一件事上成为专家，就是注意到偏爱。如果他的饼干比我的大 哪怕一点点，我就会质疑。当然我也没被饿着。

identical adj.相同的

slightly adv.轻微地

psychologist n心理学家

When I became a psychologist, I began to notice favoritism of a different kind; and that is, how much more we value the body than we do the mind. I spent nine years at university earning my favoritism doctorate in psychology, and I can’t tell you how many people look at my business card and say, “Oh - - a psychologist. So, not a real doctor,” as if it should say that on my card. This favoritism doctorate we show the body over the mind - - I see it everywhere.

当我成为一-个心理学家，我开始 注意到另一种不同的偏爱，那就是我们赋子我们的身体 比精神更多的价值。我花了九年时问 获得心理学博士学位，但不知道有多少人看了我的名片说，“哦，心理学家，原水不是真正的医生。”就好像我的名片上就该明确说明似的。这种对身体多于精神的偏爱随处可见。

psychologist n.心理学家

doctorate n.博士学位

favoritism n.偏袒

I recently was at a friend’s house, and their fivc-year-old was getting ready for bed. He was standing on a stool by the sink, brushing his teeth, when he slipped and scratched his leg on the stool when he fell. He cried for a minute, but then he got back up, got back on the stool, and reached out for a box of BandAids to put one on his cut.

Now, this kid could barely tie his shoelaces, but he knew you have to cover a cut so it doesn’t become infected, and you have to care for your teeth by brushing twice a day. We all know how to maintain our physical health and how to practice dental hygiene, right? We’ve known it since we were five years old. But what do we know about maintaining our psychological health? Well, nothing. What do we teach our children about emotional hygiene? Nothing. How is it that we spend more time taking care of our teeth than we do our minds? Why is it that our physical health is so much more important to us than our psychological health?

这孩子刚学会系鞋带儿，但他都知道要保护伤口以免感染，同时还要一天刷两次牙来保护牙齿。我们都知道怎样保特身体的健康 还有怎样保持牙齿卫生，对不对：我们从五岁起就知道这些东西了。但是我们知道怎样 保持精神上的健康吗？完全不知道。我们教给孩子们情绪保健吗？完全没有。为什么我们花在牙齿的时间 比花在精神的时间上还多呢？ 为什么我们那么重视身体健康 远远多于心理健康呢？

We sustain psychological injuries even more often than we do physical ones, injuries like failure or rejection or loneliness. And they can also get worse if we ignore them, and they can impact our lives in dramatic ways. And yet, even though there are scientifically proven techniques we could use to treat these kinds of psychological injuries, we don’t. It doesn’t even occur to us that we should. “Oh, you’re feeling depressed? Just shake it off; it’s all in your head.” Can you imagine saying that to somebody with a broken leg: “Oh, just walk it off; it’s all in vour leg.”

我们承受心理上的伤害 比身体上的多得多，例如失败，被拒绝，孤独。如果我们忽视它们，情况也会恶化，它们同样会给我们的生活带米重大的影响。然而，虽然有科学证实的疗法 米帮助我们治疗 这些心理上的伤害，我们却不采取行动。我们甚至都没意识到 我们应该采取行动。“哦，你感到抑郁么？ 别去想了，都在你脑袋甲。”你能想象对一个骨折了的人说这样的话吗？“哦、走走就好了，都在你腿上。

It is time we closed the gap between our physical and our psychological health. It’s time we made them more equal, more like twins.Speaking of which, my brother is aiso a psychologist. So he’s not a real doctor, either.

我们应该消除这种对身体和 精神健康的区别对待。应该把两者对等起水，像双胞胎一样。说起双胞胎，我哥哥也是个心理医生。所以他也不是真正的医生。

We didn’t study together, though. In fact, the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life is move across the Atlantic to New York City to get my doctorate in psychology. We were apart then for the first time in our lives, and the separation was brutal for both of us. But while he remained among family and friends, I was alone in a new country. We missed each other terribly, but international phone calls were really expensive then, and we could only afford to speak for five minutes a week. When our birthday rolled around, it was the first we wouldn’t be spending together. We decided to splurge, and that week, we would talk for 10 minutes.

我们不是在一起上的学。事实上，我这辈子经历过的最困难的事就是跨过大西洋搬到红约 来读心理学的博士学位。那是我们俩第一次分隔两地，这个分离对我俩来说都很残酷。当他和家人朋友一起

吋，我却孤单的在—-个新的国度。我们都非常想念对方，但那吋候国际长途都很贵 我们一周只打的起五分钟的电话。当我们生日快到了的时候，那是我们第一个 没在一起过的生日。我们决定奢侈把，在那个星期聊上十分钟。

I spent the morning pacing around my room, waiting for him to call — and waiting.. and waiting. But the phone didn’t ring

我那天早上在房间里踱来踱去，等着我哥哥给我打过来 - 我等啊等啊，电话就是不响。

Given the time difference, I assumed, “OK, he’s out with friends. he’ll call later.” There were no cell phones then. But he didn’t. And I began to realize that after being away for over 10 months, he no longer missed me the way I missed him. I knew he would call in the morning, but that night was one of the saddest and longest nights of my life. I woke up the next morning. I glanced down at the phone, and I realized I had kicked it off the hook when pacing the day before. I stumbled out of bed, I put the phone back on the receiver, and it rang a second later. And it was my brother, and boy, was he pissed.

由于时差的关系，我就想，“好吧，他一定是和朋友在一起，他晚点 v绊倒儿会打水的。”那时候也没有手机。但他始终没打来。我开妤意识到，在我商开十个月以后，他不再像我想他那样想我了。我知道他早上会打米，但那一晚是我一生中 最份心，最漫长的一晚。第二天一早醒来，我职了一-眼电话，我意识到，来回跛步吋 我把电话线踹下水了我迷迷糊糊的跳下床，我刚把电话插回接口，一秒钟之后电话就响了。是我哥哥，他可气坏了。

It was the saddest and longest night of his life as well. Now, I tried to explain what happened, but he said, “I don’t understand. If you saw I wasn’t calling you, why didn’t you just pick up the phone and call me?” He was right. Why didn’t I call him? I didn’t have an answer then. But I do today, and it’s a simple one: loneliness.

那也是他一生中 最伤心漫长的一夜。当我跟他解释事情的经过，他说，“我不明白。你看我没给你打，你为什么不打给我呢？”他说的对。我为什么不打给他呢？我当时无法解释，但我现在明白了，非常简单的原因：孤独。

Loneliness creates a deep psychological wound, one that distorts our perceptions and scrambies our thinking. It makes us believe that those around us care much less than they actuaily do. It make us really afraid to reach out, because why set yourself up for reiection and heartache when your heart is already aching more than you can stand? I was in the grips of real loneliness back then, but I was surrounded by people all day, so it never occurred to me. But loneliness is defined purely subjectively. It depends solely on whether you feel emotionally or socially disconnected from those around you. And I did.

孤独导致深重的心理创伤，扭曲我们的感知能力，剥夺我们的思考能力。它使我们相信 身边的人不再在乎我们。 它使我们不取与人联络，为什么给自取其辱被拒绝呢？ 你的心痛的还不够多么？我那个时候被孤独紧紧包裹着，但我总和别人在一起，我自己都没意识到。但孤独是完全从主观上定义的。它完全取决于你是否觉得 在情绪上或是交际上 和你周围的人相隔绝。我当时是这样的。

There is a lot of research on loneliness, and all of it is horrifying.

Loneliness won’t just make you miserable; it will kill you. I’m

not kidding. Chronic loneliness increases your likelihood of an early death by 14 percent. Fourteen percent! Loneliness causes high blood pressure, high cholesterol. It even suppress the functioning of your immune system, making you vulnerable to

cholesterol

n胆固醇

all kinds of illnesses and diseases. In fact. scientists have concluded that taken together, chronic loneliness poses as significant a risk for your long-term health and longevity as

vulnerable

adi.脆弱的

cigarette smoking.

我们有很多关于孤独的研究， 都很可怕。孤独不仅让你觉得凄惨，它还可能致死。我可不是开玩笑。长期的抓独 会增加你早逝的可能性 高达14%之多。孤独可能导致 高血乐，高胆固醇。它甚至会影响你的免疫系统，使你容易患上各种疾病。事实上，科学家已经得出结论，长期的孤独对你的健康和长寿的负面影响比抽烟还要糟。